A sponsor’s story – Christmas 2012

For British/non-EEA families and couples, Tuesday the 25th will mark the first Christmas under the new family migration rule changes – and a painful reminder of what is missing most this festive season. For our contributor, Christmas 2012 is another separate experience from her son.

Here’s hoping 2013 brings about progress in the courts for a genuinely happy new year.

– Chris, FIA

Christmas is a time for family, a time to be happy but mine serves as a reminder of the six years that I haven’t seen my son. People wish me a happy Christmas and I smile and wish them a good one as well but I know mine will be filled with worry and a sense of helplessness. What mother fails to provide for a child she brought into this world. I would give anything just to hold my son in my arms again. I have missed the milestones in his life and it breaks my heart. I find it difficult to sleep everyday because I can’t stop thinking. It’s after 01:00am and even if I tried I couldn’t sleep. Friends and family ask me to look after their kids while they go to work or run errands and I say ok for the company but its a catch 22 situation as their kids just remind me of the time I am not spending with my son. I pray everyday for a miracle that one day the home office will say you are a free person and you can work and provide for your family. This year the UKBA has really shown me who is boss, I have to sign on exactly on Christmas Day, I thought England was a Christian country, but i can’t think about going to church because I am supposed to be at a police station signing on. All my life I have lived a straightforward life but now I feel like a criminal, I feel like a prisoner even though am not actually in prison. I am worse off than a prisoner because at least they know when they will be free. Sometimes I cry but then I dry my tears again. Should I leave my husband and just move back home so I can see my son, if I do that I bet that’s the last time I will be seeing my husband again because he doesn’t earn enough to sponsor me to come back here. I can’t ask him to leave his job and son and daughter here to come with me when I don’t have a job in my home country. I have a bachelor of science degree but now I am now just a housewife . I have nothing against housewives but I just thought my life would be different from my mum because my mum was born in a generation where it wasn’t deemed important or necessary for a woman to have a carrier. I pray that my anguish will stop because I fear for my sanity. I look fine on the outside but I am burning inside. I pray for a miracle otherwise I don’t know how long I can take this pain for.

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